


Shadow of Colossus

by Barkour



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: Credits Spoilers, Epilogue, F/M, Polyamory Suggested/Discussed, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14732511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barkour/pseuds/Barkour
Summary: Wade and Vanessa, in bed. Happily ever after, with strap-ons.





	Shadow of Colossus

Vanessa said, “Wade.”

He came up with a jerk, a snort, and a nine millimeter in his hand. “Pick his teeth from his gut,” said Wade, maybe nonsensically.

“Put the gun down.” She mumbled it, husky with sleep. “You’re kicking again.”

“Sorry. Bladder?”

“If you make me pee you have to clean it.”

He checked the clip – yep, still full – and the safety, then tucked the gun under his pillow and laid his sugar plum head to rest. Sleep clung muzzy-sweet to him, too. He gazed at Vanessa. She’d crusties in her eyelashes and a zit in her right nostril. Love made his stomach hurt, or maybe that was the tumor he’d named Big Jim. No, he decided. It was love. Definitely love. Ah, Big Jim, that rancid asshole. Next time.

“I was having that dream again,” he whispered. “The one where I’m fucking Colossus,” he added as Vanessa mumbled, “The one where you’re fucking Colossus.”

Wade paused. “Mind-reader. What the hell was that? You’re not one of those _mutants_ , are you?”

She snorfed through her nose. “I have that dream too.”

“You’re cheating on me with dream Colossus?”

“No, you’re fucking Colossus,” Vanessa said. “I’m watching.”

“Oh,” said Wade. Then he said, “ _Oh._ ”

She yawned. Her teeth flashed. She wiggled closer, that little minx, in her XL sweatpants and the t-shirt that said _Dick Cheney made money off the Iraq war._

“Big spoon me, tiger.”

Vanessa obliged. Her breasts pressed flat against his back, her thighs tucked under his. Her breath stank. He wove his fingers between her fingers and held their hands together at the high join of his rib cage.

“So, in your dream…”

She hummed drowsily. Then she wiggled again, purposefully, her knee nudging between his thighs. Wade shuddered in the safe confines of her arms, and she laughed as he’d known she would.

“Well. Technically. He’s fucking you. In the dream.”

“Yesssss,” said Wade. “And you’re getting that on video, right? In the dream.”

“Three camera set-up.” She tickled her fingers against his pectorals, her nails scratching deliciously at the scarring. 

“Fuck yeah. Let’s crash Porn Hub. What do we call it? Colossal DP? You’ll need the strap-on.”

She laughed again, her tinkliest, snortliest laugh, the one that made his ears burn and his cancerous heart convulse. In the dark of their room, their apartment, in the comfortable mess of their bed, Vanessa held him—her heart beat at his back—and pretended to think.

“‘Iron Curtain Parts For Iron Dick.’”

“God,” he breathed, “I’m so glad you’re not dead. Hey, ‘ness. I love you.”

Her smile pressed to his nape. “I love you, Wade Wilson.”

They drifted together for a time, her knee rubbing both comfort and a skin-prickling heat into his inner thighs. His eyes fixed on the bedside table, the books she was reading, this stack of dense-ass Russian fuckers and a book of baby names on top. He was happy. God, he was so happy. If anybody fucked this up for him he was going to scoop out their eyeballs and shove them down their ears.

He stirred. “So do I call Colossus or do you?”

“I’ll message him on Facebook.”

“He follows you on Facebook?”

“We’re in the same Stitch ‘n’ Bitch.”

“That gorgeous, chrome-plated muscle-fuck,” said Wade, “he won’t even let me follow him on Snapchat.”

“Face it, baby,” Vanessa said into his ear, her sleep-sticky face burningly warm against his cheek, “you wouldn’t get anywhere without me.”

Wade rolled over in her arms and kissed her, bruising. She was grinning. She really needed to brush her teeth. He loved her so much he wanted to propose a double date with ampersand heart semicolon Yukio ampersand heart semicolon and My Chemical Warhead. They could go to Hot Topic and get Supernatural pins for their Shingeki no Kyojin lanyards, or whatever the fuck it was teens did to express romantic interest.

“You’re god damn right,” he said, and he kissed her again because she was there, she was here, she was holding him and he loved her. He loved her. He murmured into her mouth, “Now go get the strap-on,” and Vanessa said, “Dick pics?” and he said, “Dick pics,” and she rubbed his bald head and said, “Wade Wilson, I’m going to put a baby in you,” and even Big Jim agreed, it was love.


End file.
